toast to the 9-9-9

9 Nov

I subscribed to GOOD’s Food Hub immediately. As an alternative media outlet, it promised to ignore conventional boundaries regularly. “We believe food is too important a topic to restrict the conversation to the usual suspects,” Nicola Twilley wrote when the online hub launched. “You’ll be as likely to meet a commodity trader, a synthetic biologist, or an industrial archaeologist as a chef or food activist … because both a neuroscientist and dishwasher have something interesting to tell us about what food is—and what it could be.”

But at some point I lost interest in what it was doing. The stories were becoming predictable (“New Farmers Markets Provide Health, Jobs Boost”) or sensational (“Child Slaves Made Your Halloween Candy. Stop Buying It.”) or just stupid (“The 10 Greatest Scanwiches Ever Scanned”). And yet, I didn’t delete it from my Reader. I kept checking in, browsing the headlines before clicking “Mark all as read.” Then today—snared no doubt by the name of a certain Republican candidate—I clicked “The 9-9-9: A Cocktail Inspired By Herman Cain.” Here’s what I discovered: 

1. The Food Hub has a series called Buy You a Drink, “where GOOD’s resident mixologist offers a free libation to one thirsty newsmaker each week.” Somehow I missed this.

2. This series is essentially the Daily Show of food-and-drink blogs, offering news, satire, and enjoyment in one go. Ken Walczak, GOOD’s “resident mixologist,” stirs up a tasty concoction while recapping the week’s juicy sound bites.

3. Walczak is a funny guy. Here’s the first bit of the 9-9-9:

“Apparently Herman Cain is still running for president. I tried ignoring him until he went away, like a high school crush or post-viral pityriasis, but it didn’t work. Developments that have so far failed to oust Herman Cain from the race: His own ignorance of basic foreign policy facts; his baffling and contradictory statements on abortion; a deluge of sexual harassment allegations stemming from his time as head of the National Restaurant Association. Are there confused Republicans out there who support Cain purely because they heard that he was once ‘president of the NRA’?
But now it’s November, that rainy month when we remember what Axl Rose taught us: Nothing lasts forever. The new month brought with it Sharon Bialek, who faced the media to detail just what Cain expects in exchange for a ‘palatial suite’ upgrade at the Capitol Hilton. Bialek’s testimony is just the latest indication that the Cain campaign may be well past its Appetite for Destruction phase and careening rapidly toward Chinese Democracy. Disclaimer: The candidate would prefer that you not ask him any questions about China, or about democracy.
I think it’s time to buy Herman Cain a drink.”

Read the rest and get the recipe here. Looks like I’ll be following the Food Hub for a while longer, if only for Walczak’s tasty mix of liquor and politics.

One Response to “toast to the 9-9-9”


  1. oscar cocktails, other pairings « Read::Zebra - November 17, 2011

    […] Walczak keeps up his cutting commentary and cocktail-making. The subject of his scourge this time around: everyone […]

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